Things Matty Says RSS

Updated daily at Midnight.

Archive

Nov
8th
Sun
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The Face of Puberty

  • Matty: I want to see her face when she looks for them
  • Matty: with her beach hat and a sunglasses
  • Matty: and a glass of cold water
  • Matty: ready to go kool out.
  • Matty: It'll make her a woman.
Nov
7th
Sat
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Oct
30th
Fri
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8===D ... ?

  • Matty: SHOW ME YOUR WEINER
Oct
29th
Thu
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Well, of course.

  • Matty: Just like my plan to make Danny a man involves him crying.
Oct
28th
Wed
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And You me.

  • Matty: Tommy Lee scares the shit out of me.
Oct
27th
Tue
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What Matty Desires in a Mate

  • Matty: "Oh my bed is free for you, I'll just find a nice spot on the floor here"
  • Matty: "and soak in the beer,"
  • Matty: "while Andrew talks in his sleep"
  • Matty: "and I'll have nightmares instead"
  • Matty: "while you relax in the temperature controlled room."
Oct
26th
Mon
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Every Woman's Dream

  • Matty: Need to listen to music
  • Matty: and stand up,
  • Matty: but not put on pants.
Oct
25th
Sun
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That's One Way to Stike Up a Conversation

  • Matty: Should I tell him I'm wearing her underoos?
Oct
24th
Sat
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Oh, okay.

  • Matty: Now I'm
  • Matty: fucking.
Oct
23rd
Fri
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No.

  • Matty: You know when you forget to put deodarant on
  • Matty: and you end up playing sports or something?
  • Matty: That funk that stays on your clothes?
  • Matty: More like that spunk that stays on your clothes!
  • Matty: Amirite?
Oct
22nd
Thu
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Oct
20th
Tue
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Aug
15th
Sat
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What did you think you were getting paid to do?

  • Matty: Should I be moderating how you and her talk about used panties ?
Aug
14th
Fri
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But You Gave Me 25 and Herpes

  • Matty: There's this line in a blues song,
  • Matty: That made me think of you
  • Matty: I gave you seven children
  • Matty: and now you wanna give them back
  • Matty: It's one in a list of many reasons why shit sucks for B.B. King
  • Matty: but that one, that's you.
Aug
13th
Thu
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At What Point of Clothing Removal Does That Occur?

  • Matty: I'm too naked to look at you.